Dahli Writes an Open Letter to the Intelligencer

The Cold War was easy I guess is what it was. I mean, how great is it to know your enemies? What the Fuck happened after all that died? Tell me that one. Tell me how I should feel. Today we've got a bunch of No Fear fuckers jumping around on skateboards. Whatever. This is fear, O My Brothers. This is fear.

I squatted for days in that ditch behind enemy lines. Dirt on all sides and a crudely fashioned plank above my head separated me from those that would...what? Killing me straight up would have been too humane. Letting me go would have been inconceivable. I have No Doubt that a long, slow, Torquemada-style torture was what I would have endured before my inevitable demise. But should I have managed to not spill any secrets while suffering through it, my death would have been For The Good Of The Country. I shiver now with the deliciousness of it. Back then I wished I hadn't traded my Cyanide pill for that pack of cigarettes.

I had nothing with me save for some nasty rations left over from the Last Great War. After my rations were used up I ate the bugs and vermin coexisting with me, which was sad. As far as I knew anymore they were the only living beings in the world besides myself. They were my friends. There was one grub in particular who squirmed violently as I slowly led him to my lips. Definitely my Type of Guy, and I told him as much, although he did taste a lot better than the government's crap. I soon became the vermin. I am vermin today.

I shit and pissed in a tiny hole I had dug in the corner. The smell was intoxicating, and not in a Calvin Klein way. My puke found its way into the hole as well.

I would get nervous at the sound of voices getting not louder, but softer. Softer as They got closer. That's a sure sign They know you're there. And They knew I was there. How could They not, with my heart beating so loud the whole world heard it? To this day I wonder why They left me there, when I was as easy a target as I'd ever be. Regardless, I was left. Years later I found out that They did return - with backup. It brings a tear to my eye knowing I was so important.

Of course, it all sounds rather cold, doesn't it? Like not scary at all. The thing is I put myself there. I LOVED IT, O My Brothers.

But.

But Michael was out there. Alone. And I didn't know where. I still don't know where.

That's fear.